Consistent Inconsistency, Chaotic Organization
Sitting here in the woods of CT, without a phone (of my own dumb losing of course, but we’re recovering!) and I’ve thought it has felt nice, it’s made me feel helpless, and I can really suck up some helpless downtime, even if the maelstrom inside thrashes against it.
But then slowly I think about what (if anything) CAN be done, and I start to realize I’m not that helpless, I’m just lazy/procrastinating/in a slump/insert more self flagellation.
There has been a lot of Facebook to fill the void, I would have to confess, along with little-bit-cooler-but-probably-also-on-the-decline-Facebook, or, Instagram. I do rationalize these though as they are my only communication methods via laptop. Or email, but who uses that besides work, bills, and spam? Ultimately, I can still make music, and I’ve toyed around a bit, and look at this, I can blog. Add to that I finally decided to change my Facebook listed website from my expired domain to here, and I figured maybe a blog entry a little more recent than over a month would be nice. Podcast episodes newer than a year? We’ll get back to that.
That “I’ll get back to it” mentality of mine is always present, and I watched a video that popped up in my YouTube feed that really spoke to me, and this very infrequency, and I have to say it definitely resonated. I mean, lots of self-help-y videos do these days, but this one was nice. What better time to link it?
If you watch it now, or watch it later, or never watch it, my main takeaway was that that self-flagellation I described above is actually unnecessary, and perhaps a reframing is necessary after 20 something years of not fitting into the consistency mode of creativity and productivity. It comes down to passion. I think I can say, with the ravenousness with which I study new things, the periods of deep focus I put into them, the obsessions with specific artists, my flirtation with the dangerous areas of behavior, and level of emotion in my relationships… I think listening to a little something about being passion driven and taking a different approach as a result, and using that fun-yet-potentially-dangerous mode of operation for good rather than my own downfall is refreshing.
So, thanks random algorithmically generated youtuber (whose name I don’t remember, click above, what am I your Wikipedia?) for reframing some stuff that I can hopefully use going forward. Maybe you can too!
(related, I was able to see her de-focused laptop screen and follow a rabbit hole from that that may have finally reginited a want of mine for a decade plus now, the offloaded brain. Let’s save that for some future content, shall we?)
